


random ass drabbles

by somehowimalive



Series: Drabbles [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Kinda, M/M, Multi, Rewrite, Suicide, because im here, bitch i dont know, get your assholes ready, implied suicide atleast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowimalive/pseuds/somehowimalive
Summary: fuckignim not a writer danmitbut i will trythe story doesn't have typos btw im just a piece of shit lol bye





	1. im gonna shaft your ass

**Author's Note:**

> so
> 
> welcome
> 
> to 
> 
> shit
> 
> based entirley off this song --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipbukl6oFoQ (Song name is Kettering by The Antlers)  
> i used hthsi website for 2 sentences --> http://thejohnfox.com/2016/06/first-line-generator/

The hospital room was not white and did not smell like antiseptic. Instead, being so empty it reeked of loneliness and was a dull, filthy gray that left him with a headache. Him. The one who shouldn't be here. Who should've never been here.

The one who should be fucking dead right now.

***  
It had been ten minutes since the hospital called, and he didn't know whether he could live 10 more minutes. Why did it have to happen so fucking soon. It couldn't be this way. Not for the third fucking time in 4 months, and it was only January. And his birthday was next month. Mark couldn't die on his fucking birthday, could he? He couldn't be that cruel. But-.. Life could, couldn't it..

He should give up.

But he couldn't.  
Not when Mark was still alive.  
***

"You're a fuckin' idiot," he said shaking his head but there was still a smile on his face which made Séan's stomach flip.

"So are you."

"Yeah."

 

They were silent for awhile.

 

"Hey, Mark?"

"Hmm?"

"You can't keep doing this."

".... I know."  
***

Séan didn't believe them when they said there wasn't any way saving him. There had to be. There has to be. He was his everything, he was the love of his entire fucking miserable life. He was the ray of sunshine, the joy, the fucking miracle that pulled him out of the water. 

And now.. Now he was in the same place Séan used to be.  
***

Walking in the room when there were tubes in his arms sending morphine and painkillers along his body felt like a stab to his stomach. Séan felt like vomiting. 

They didn't talk for awhile.

***  
"Hey."

"..."

"Mark, say something."

.

.

.

There was silence.  
***

"Please, I don't want to leave you here." Séan said with a desperate sound to his voice.

"..."

"Mark-"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" 

"Talking like that."

"What- Mark what are you talking about?"

"Your fucking tone," he said voice empty.

"What- What does have'ta do with anything?"

"Everything," saying it like it solved every crisis in the world.

"Then what about my tone?"

"I-.. It makes me feel alone."

"..."

"I'm sorry Mark."

***

Séan should have left after that. But something made him stay. Made Séan take care of him. God, he fucking loved Mark and this was gonna end so fucking horribly. 

.

.

.

He was checking Mark's vitals, though they'd been the same the last few days. And they were absolute shit. His heart was beating about 30 times a minute which was half of what it should be. The doctors didn't know why and Séan really didn't fucking care at this point, he just wanted his- His life back. His best friend, his everything.

He shut his eyes and leaned against the hospital bed and rested his hand over Mark's. He was freezing. His heart was breaking in half, and the half-Korean was the cause of it and he couldn't be more happy- No not happy, the.. Bittersweet type of happy.

Because Mark was dying.  
And it was his fault.  
***

Suggesting a smile he let go of Mark's hand as the latter cracked his eyes open to see Séan standing next to his bed gripping his hand lightly.

They didn't talk for awhile.  
***  
"You ought to be leaving."

"Why?"

"I'm not gonna get better Séan-"

"Shut the fuck up Mark I swear to god I'll stand by this fucking bed until my last goddamn breathe if it means I can see you."

"..."

"..You know that I love you right?"

"I love you, too Mark."  
***  
He couldn't move.

His legs refused to work, his head was spinning and his stomach felt like it was twisted inside out. He wanted to cry but he couldn't find it in himself. His emotions were completely drained. And why? Why was he so drained? It was all because of one fucking person. **One _fucking person_** and his **stupid fucking SMILE** and his damned _gorgeous brown eyes_.

He couldn't breathe. This wasn't about to happen, it couldn't have. His throat was burning and his vision was so blurry, so so so blurry.

 

 

He got a call from the hospital 10 minutes ago, and he wasn't sure he could live 10 more minutes.

 

Because Mark Fischbach was dead.

And he never said goodbye.


	2. IM REALLY FUCKING SORRY OH MY GOD

hey so i havent been on ao3 for 5 7 FUCKING D A Y S

im really sorry 

here comes the sun tho bby im rewriting the first chapter except its gonna be NOT SHITTY :D as much   
idk tho  
lets see

IT SHOULD BE UP EITHER TODAY OR TOMMORROW AND BE ON MY ASS AND FUCKING INCINERATE ME IF I DONT DELIVER 

LETS DO THIS SHITTTTT


	3. WE'RE BACK BITCHES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So some bg info
> 
> jack like kinda knows that this is prob gonna be last time and shit so  
> hes kinda preppin himself but
> 
> you cant be ready for this kind of shit  
> the ages r diff too  
> jack - 22  
> mark - 25

1.-

The hospital room wasn't white and by no means smelled anything like antiseptic. Instead, it was so devoid of anything remote to happiness and life it reeked of loneliness. It was a dull, half-baked, and filthy gray that left him with a headache. He never understood how lonely someone could feel with people nearby. Everything felt that way now.

He was aware of how lacking of emotions he was. And he hated it.

Him.

The one who shouldn't be here right now. The one who should've have never been here.

The one who should be dead right now.

2.-

Ten minutes ago the hospital called, and he didn't know if he could live ten more minutes.  
Ten minutes ago he wasn't speeding on the highway.

Ten minutes ago.. he was happier

-

Why did it always have to be so abrupt.  
This was the third time in the past five and a half months and it was January.  
Which meant his birthday is next month. 

He couldn't die on his birthday right?

..right?

-

He wanted to give up.

He was so fucking _tired_.  
His arms ached and his heart was pounding in his chest. He just wanted everything to stop. For everything to be ok. But nothing was.

He was shivering from loneliness, and he couldn't even move his legs.

He should've given up. 

But he didn't.

Because Mark was still alive.

3.- A few months ago.

"You're a dumbass."

"Yeah,"  
"But you are too you cockwaffle."

"Yeah."

4.- Two weeks ago

.  
.  
.

"Mark."

" .. "

 

"You can't- you can't-"  
"Mark.. you're gonna die.. stop doing this to yourself.."

"I can't."

He felt his heart break.

5.-

He didn't believe them when they said there wasn't anyway of saving him.

There had to be a way. There _has_ to be.

He was his fucking everything at this point. The love of his miserable stupid fucking life.

He was supposed to be his ray of sunshine, the joyful and playful idiot with a speech impediment that made him even more endearing. He was the miracle that pulled him out of the shit place he used to be in..  
and now?

Now Mark was in that same place.

-

He felt sick the exact fucking second he stepped into the room. There were tubes in his arms sending morphine along with painkillers throughout his body. He wanted to vomit.

They didn't talk for awhile.

-

"Mark."

" .. "

"Please, say something."

 

There wasn't even a whisper.

-

"I don't wanna leave you here I-" he broke off chocking on what was gonna turn into a sob later.

"Mark-" he was cut off by the man, his voice cracking,

"Shut the fuck up."

He was pretty surprised. Mostly because Mark said something but probably also because he did just tell him to fuck off which kind of helped, too.

"W-What?"

"Talking like that."

"What?"

"Your stupid fucking _tone_ "

"Wh-What do you mean..?"

"It.. It feels.. isolating."

 

Oh.

 

"i never wanted this to happen."  
"Neither did I."

-

"You oughta be leaving."

 

This time he was silent.

"I'm never gonna get bett-"

" _Shut the actual fuck up you son of a fucking badger bitch, I'll stand by this goddamn bed even if someone breaks my legs if it means I get to see you_."

 

Mark smiled once again surprising him, then he said something.  
"I love you, you know that right?"

"I know. I love you, too Mark."

6.-

He couldn't breathe.

His legs were locked in place. His head was heavy and his stomach was twisted inside out.  
He wanted to cry.

So he did.

And there he was. A sad, hopeless man standing in the middle of kitchen he used to share with the love of his life crying.

Because of one person.  
One person with pretty brown eyes and a soft pretty smile.

 

The hospital called ten minutes ago and he didn't know if he could live for ten more minutes.

Because Mark Fishbach just died.

And Jack never said goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD I DID IT  
> IT'S 12:23 AM BUT I DID IT  
> FUCK  
> YEAH
> 
>  
> 
> so  
> jack is sad  
> and mark is dead  
> what should i write next? comment down below guys
> 
> imsosorry

**Author's Note:**

> writing makes me  
> want  
> to rip the skin  
> off my body  
> with my nails


End file.
